Intersexuals

by Site Admin
Published on Tue Jan 16, 2007 7:53 pm
Rift: eTransgender :: Transgender Forum
  
By Lynnell Stephani Long

It is my belief that if you are Lesbian, Gay, Trans, Intersex, Bisexual or heterosexual, that is what you are meant to be. I'm not going to get into the argument or politics about whether it's in our genetics, but I will say if we look back into our childhood, there has always been signs detailing hidden desires to be our "true self." If it's not safe for us to be our "true self," we often go into hiding. Many of us have gotten married, trying to escape our "true self." But in the end, if we are true to our "true self," we will come out!

Well it's the same if you're Intersex, except here we are dealing with gender as oppose to sexual orientation. When we are born our gender is assigned to us by someone taking a look between our legs. But what if you're Intersex. Intersex meaning born genetically male & female. Intersexuals are in a way like Hermaphrodites, except some Intersex children are not born with both external genitalia. Some, like me, are born hormonally & genetically female, but because the clitoris is bigger than normal, surgery is done to erase any external female body parts and the child is assigned, male.

In my case, my body produced estrogen not male hormones (testosterone) which is essential for the development of "males." When I hit puberty at the age of 13, I began to have breast growth. Before this time I was confused as hell. I related to girls more than boys. I have always looked feminine and believed I was female. I got into a lot of fights around this time defending the fact that I was indeed female. I got a lot of ass whippings too, trying to defend myself myself against my mother. Who happened to be a minister, and preached to me on numerous occasions that God made didn't make mistakes. She said I was blasphemy, and would go to hell if I didn't stop that nonsense that I was a girl.

When I started having breast growth at the age of 13, that was all the proof I needed that I was indeed female, that somebody made a mistake, if not God, then the doctors that told my mother I was a boy.

My short lived experience as a girl was cut short at the age of 14 when I was forced to take testosterone. I was told I would have to take male hormones to stop the breast growth and to "make me a boy." It was also that time when they told me I was sterile and could never have kids. They convinced me that if I took testosterone I could make babies one day, even though I never ejaculated. After trying to commit suicide numerous of times, I decided to stop the hormone replacement. I was on testosterone for 3 1/2 years. In that time I was sick all the time and hospitalized on numerous occasions because of it. I remember feeling like I was being poisoned.
I felt it was too late. My breast had stopped growing and to me they won. Although I never had any facial hair, I thought I looked like a boy. What was to me an enlarged clitoris grew and I felt uncomfortable in my own body. I became angry at the world. At one time when people called me she, I wouldn't correct them. I soon insisted everyone call me, He. I wanted to forget that somewhere in my body was a girl, waiting to be re-born. At the age of 18, I found drugs. Drugs and alcohol was my only escape. In the next 9 years I would use drugs and alcohol even more to suppress those feminine feelings. I got married at the age of 26 because I thought she could help me be a man.

It wasn't until I got sober, and was sober for a year that those feelings began to re-surface. In 1994 I got sick and had to go to the hospital. After doing several tests to find what was bothering me, I was told by an endocrinologist that my body was fighting to survive. I told him the story about the male hormones and my childhood. After getting my medical records from the University, we began to work together. I told him how I always felt like I was a girl and about the breast growth. I remember smiling while telling him, because I remembered there were signs that I was indeed, female. It was then I first heard of the word, Intersex. He told me I was born Intersex and that he could help me.

I started female hormonal therapy soon after first seeing him. My breast began to grow again, and by body began to feminize. After being forced to live male and then trying to adapt to a male & female society, it was like learning to walk all over again.

Because I was never male, it was easier being a woman. Everything came naturally. For years I watched men and then tried to impersonate them. When Lynnell was re-born, I felt like I was given a second chance in life. My philosophy on life changed. My new philosophy is; Everything happens for a reason. In life there will be disappointments, but there will also be achievements. I will make mistakes, I'm not perfect. It's what I do with the lessons of those mistakes that will make me a better person. My happiness is of the utmost importance. With love, there is no room for fear. Have faith and all will be well.
Tue Jan 16, 2007 7:53 pm   Share
 
According to the Intersex Society of America, it is difficult to estimate how many intersexuals (people with a combination of male and female sexual characteristics) are born every year; however, by their statistics it is a significant amount. Intersexuals may be born with obvious deviations from the male/female physical norm, or secondary sexual characteristic of the apperent opposite gender may make themselves known at puberty.

The usual response to a child being born with no clear gender is to surgically alter them so that they conform to either male or female physical features (usually whichever gender they have more characteristics of). Likewise, if sexual characteristics of the opposite sex appear at puberty, surgery is used as the immediate "answer". In the case of babies, it is obviously the parent's choice on whether to have gender re-assignment surgery - it is also often the case when such difficulties emerge at puberty, as children's decisions (or even sometimes their permission) is not asked nor their informed consent given - for example, this quote from an article in the Psychologist (warning, .pdf file) PDF:


I'd been aware for a few months that my clitoris was growing longer, but I'd thought that it was normal - just puberty. From Mum's alarmed reaction, though, it wasn't. She called the doctor, who told her to bring me in the next day... I was now told I had ovarian cancer and needed a hysterectomy... After my "secret" operation, I woke up screaming with pain... I felt a crusty blanket of dried blood in my genital region - what had they done to me? I didn't know that I'd actually just undergone a clitoridectomy - female genital mutilation.



As well as the ethics of forcing a person into a gender role without their permission, there's also the problem that surgery to remove/alter sexual characteristics can lessen or even remove all ability for sexual pleasure at all, permanently. And if that child grows up and decides that they associate more with the opposite gender - yet more surgery awaits them, to undo what has been done to them and more.

On the other hand, what other options are there?

A child could be assigned a gender, but not given surgery. Clearly though, this can also cause problems - how can you explain to a child when they're older that they're different from other boys/girls? And how would they be able to deal with the inevitable bullying and teasing that will occur if/when others find out about their physicality? While they still have their ability and drive for sex that is often denied to others who were operated on, what chance will they have to actually find someone who is accepting of their unique situation? (I'm not saying it's impossible, but much rarer - especially for teenagers - to be that emotionally mature).

And then there's another option - don't have surgery performed, and don't assign the child to male or female, but a third gender. Problem is, of course, that now everyone will know of their condition. A third gendered person would face many difficulties - how do they name their sexuality? Are they straight, or gay? Bi? How many new gender categories should we create for intersexuals - one for every condition? There are so many variations, we may end up with ten or more added genders (i'm not saying this is a bad thing, just more complicated and confusing for all concerned). And what about their legal status? Are they counted as which of the two genders they show more characteristics of? Are they allowed to marry a partner of their choice? How awful would be the societal stigma?

So here's the debate. Four basic questions:

- Should intersexual babies be assigned a gender (male or female) at birth, and raised as that gender?

- As part of this, should they be operated on at birth to make them conform physically to that gender?

- Should parents be allowed to make the decision on surgery, at birth or at puberty, that will drastically affect that child's future?

- Generally, what would you consider to be the best governmental and legal policies with regards to intersexed people, in relation to their rights and in comparison to "normal" men and women?
Tue May 27, 2008 4:41 pm
Jinger
 
Since childhood, I tried to be male. I tried standing up to pee, I'd go around topless at 8 yrs old. And now, I'm a bodybuilder who wants to lift heavy weight. AND look muscular. I want a beard! I want to stop with the female worries every month, the embarrassment of buying undergarments and feminine product. I accept that I'm gay but is it more than that? What the (expletive)?
Tue Jun 29, 2010 6:35 pm
Guest
 

Return to eTransgender :: Transgender Forum