Colleagues said today that Penner was found dead at his Los Angeles home and that suicide was the suspected cause of death. He was 52.
Mike Penner (October 10, 1957 – November 27, 2009) was a sports writer for the Los Angeles Times. Penner self-identified as being a transexual in a 2007 column and returned from a vacation writing with the name Christine Daniels, before resuming his original name in 2008.
Argiope wrote:Michael Burke spoke in third person, as if "Michelle" were never really him. And you know, if that's how he looks it, that must've been how it really was. He wasn't a real transsexual, he was a crossdresser, for this is how they look at this part of themselves -- as another self that isn't really real. I suspect that, in getting out like he did, it was a good thing. But also, it just goes to show that not all of us truly are transgendered. We are really, many of us, not meant to transition. And that transitioning may, if unwarranted (as in Burke's case), in fact be spiritually damaging.
Friends, sisters, brothers. Do not believe that all of us are who we say we are. Not all of us are truly being true to ourselves in transition. For there are a number of reasons that we do transition, but for the majority of us, we are not sincere in how confess these things, or of the real roots behind our transitions.
The number of us is growing, I will tell you. It is rising exponentially. More and more persons are coming out and and confessing dysphoria, and more doctors and therapists are confirming such things. But this cannot be right. It is not natural to see so many, so fast. For if this were so, what would this mean? If there was a genetic behind all of us being this way, do not suppose that the reaction by cysgendered trans-phobes would be anything short of of a movement towards a eugenic solution? Think about it? It's about the survival of this species. And we cannot be the numbers we claim. Indeed, such abberations do occur naturally in nature, but to look at the scale, and to look frequency behind all of these events, the amount exposure that we, among the rest of the lgbt community has gotten. It cannot be right. It cannot be accidental either.
There is a force, and a movement, and we are most of us completely unaware of it as we follow it. I promise you, this conciousness about us, this collectivity among us, as one gender-bending force, it is great. And you will say that this is a good thing, but it is not. For not all of us are meant to follow this path. I beg you, ask yourselves, "how many among you can say that pornography was not a motivator in your decision to transition? And how many among you has not considered the incentive of sex, or being a desired, sexual creature? And how many of you truly can say that when you first put on those clothes, you did not masturbate for the image in the mirror before you?" Please ask yourselves these questions, and answer them honestly?
A sincere woman will tell you that she has always been a woman, regardless of her upbringing. Or that even in living with such great conservative restraints she could never let go of that part of her that she knew was feminine and genuine. A sincere woman never looked at sex in the ways that men do. And being herself, "dressing out" was not accompanied by an urge to splurge, to indulge in a living and sexual, narcissistic fantasy. This is not womanly. This boyish, and this is what separates women from boys.
You know, I see an epidemic right now. And I believe that sex has come to a very exotic point that defies everything conventional. Now the extremes are so great, and yet so easily accessible, that they have to be accepted. There is way out of it. Since the establishment of a global psychological precedent, now so many of us are enchanted, and fixated upon dreams, and fantasies. And now we can live out those fantasies to the very end. Only, how quickly do we realise that in order to make that one dream a reality, we have to give up everything in return. And even worse, how much more distressing is it that many of us many never really realise them. That many of them many never be manifest -- or at least, not in the ways we imagined.
D'you know, there are a few reasons given for why so many of us transtion late. But you know, it is not uncommon for a man to have something of a mid-life crisis. And sometimes, a man may chase a dream that was never fully thought out. He just thought.....that maybe....if only....But never really knew. Which is why he too often finds himself disappointed with the conclusion of his last minute endeavor. Recall, for example, his tendency to cluth tightly his youth in things like buying a Harley, or starting up a business doomed to fail. Adolescent dreams that never were. And of course, he is morbidly disappointed.
There is a reason for all of this,the connection, and it is engrained in our psychology -- or, at least, most of us. And this is none of it accidental, either. The flow of society has been geared in a specific direction. And it brings us towards nostalgia, and wanting, and it teaches us the the values in the obessions to maintain our youth. We no longer have our men and women to look up to, to grow up to be. We have only children, for the gods that the media drives into our heads. It is not right to be old. It is not right to lose our youth. Children are what we must be. In act of spite, or irony, instead engraining the innocense and wonder of a child, we have been instilled with the wanting, and demands of children. We are resigned to a material world, and accept that we are only material beings. God does not exist. Not in the ways we were misled to believe. God is now us. And are immortal so long as we have our youth. And for our youth, we cannot see passed illusion. And we cannot see the difference between fantasy and reality. It all has to be one. And we to make it so, or otherwise go crazy until it all falls into place. And of course, for most of us, this never happens. And when it does, it's never how we imagined. Ever.
Liv wrote:I happened to watch a program on the television teh other day about another transgender individual: Michael Berke who transitioned then "un-transitioned" based on religious influence. He mentions how he's deeply depressed, and often suicidal. Then there's the recent news of Mike Penner, a reporter, whom by all appearances did the same thing. Sometime in 2008 he began using "Mike Penner" on his byline after transitioning to Christine Daniels in 2007. Except this time, he committed suicide in his L.A. home:Colleagues said today that Penner was found dead at his Los Angeles home and that suicide was the suspected cause of death. He was 52.
Apparently there's a lot of second guessing out there. No doubt, due to societal taboos, religious persecution, and other efforts forcing individuals into self doubt even after transition. It's really quite sad and personally I could never imagine even thinking about going back, if there ever was a back?
genevieve wrote:Society is always dumping its garbage on people who do not conform. They use guilt, religion, science, the bible, and the binary system to keep us in our place. There are more of us than they think.
One belief that goes around is that every transgender person wants to have the operation. This is not always the case. Most transgender people do not have reassignment surgery. Some take hormones while others don't. I am a transgenderist who recently migrated to the transgender/transsexual spectrum. I am not going to take hormones or have reassignment surgery. I feel cofortable with my decision and with who I am.
I can only imagine the anguish Mike Penner may have suffered. I have seen the need of after-care for people who have had the surgery. There may some depression, questioning, and a whole range of emotions. Some in the medical and trans communities may have the idea that surgery is the panacea for what ails us but it's not. The only thing I always say is be sure that this is what you want to do.
When I came out, I said that I'm not going back into closet. My transgender identity is out to the people I have told.
Genevieve
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