Questions from a would-be FTM...

Questions from a would-be FTM...

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Published on Sun Oct 11, 2009 10:31 am
Rift: eTransgender :: Transgender Forum

Hi everyone,

I hope I'm posting this in the right place, and if not I'd really appreciate being directed to the best place to post my questions - some of which are probably very naive (I hope they don't offend anyone).

At present, I am female in every respect. But that's not what I feel comfortable with. Although I worry, what if I seek out surgery, I tell family and friends etc. and then I change my mind??? I think I worry because I haven't always had that strong urge you hear about in the movies - I'd just be happier. How sure were you?

Now onto the technical questions, the embarrassing ones! Am I safe to presume that someone who is FTM cannot reproduce like a Male? Would I ejaculate? Would I be able to actually feel pleasure? Are there any other differences between "natural" male genitalia and the genitalia I would have after the op?

Thanks.

____________________________________________________

Those are the main questions for now, but if anyone would like to help me further, I do have more:

How many surgeries are involved?
How long does it take to heal - roughly, as I'm sure it's different for each person.
How long - from the first surgery to the last - would it take?
Would I have to take testosterone after the surgery?
And finally what are the full effects of testosterone?

Thanks so much for reading, any answers appreciated.
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hi im Kayla an MtF although i cannot answer your questions as par what your new genitalia will look like and how it will operate, i can tell you that i am currently pre-op and i am so sure that i want to be female that i am looking forward to my surgery date more than my wedding day, i know it with my entire being and thats what you want to feel before you make your decision, dont worry about down the road, noone can plan the future, i dont even know if i will regret it in the future but if i do i do but right now i doubt it with my everything so thats my advice to you, good luck man, lol

Sincerely

Kayla Kay, age 20

Hi Kayla Kay,

Thanks so much, it's nice to hear from someone else in similar circumstances. At this stage, I am quite sure. I can't picture my future without it. But I haven't always known, in the media they imply everyone knows from a young age - I wasn't very comfortable but I didn't know why.

I have more time to let the idea sink in fully, I haven't nearly got the money yet. One more question though, are you scared? I'm terrified to have any kind of surgery, anything at all. So I can't help but be terrified of this process. Everyone else seems so brave though?!?

YesI'mAnon wrote:
Now onto the technical questions, the embarrassing ones! Am I safe to presume that someone who is FTM cannot reproduce like a Male? Would I ejaculate? Would I be able to actually feel pleasure? Are there any other differences between "natural" male genitalia and the genitalia I would have after the op?

Thanks.

____________________________________________________

Those are the main questions for now, but if anyone would like to help me further, I do have more:

How many surgeries are involved?
How long does it take to heal - roughly, as I'm sure it's different for each person.
How long - from the first surgery to the last - would it take?
Would I have to take testosterone after the surgery?
And finally what are the full effects of testosterone?

Thanks so much for reading, any answers appreciated.

I have been searching the web for some answers, but sadly, the information I have found on FTM seems guarded to say the least.

I can however answer a few points from knowledge.

No, you cannot reporduce like a man.

No, you will not ejaculate like a man. You should be able to coninue to climax like a woman.

Getting male genetalia might not be possible. Some surgeons do offer something that may appear similar, but erections are a metabolic response. I understand that FTMs need to manually pump their male genetalia, though I don't know how this is done.

I also understand that many FTMs use a prostethes. This will have the advantage of being ready. But of course, will need to be fitted before sex.

Yes you will have pleasure.

You can choose to have a hysterectomy or not. But you should discuss this with your surgeon. You will, almost certainly have a mastectomy.

The effect of testerone, speaking from personal experience, is continuing struggle to control temper, insecurity, paranoia, terrible smell.

On a different note, body hair, voice thickening, changes in skin tone, muscle growth.

The number of surgeries will be a matter for the surgeon.

The time to heal will depend upon your body's ability to heal. But, if you are generally healthy, you will probably be walking around in a few days.

Much like FTM, you will get out of your experience, what you put in.

You will need to learn to act as a man, especially how to mix and deal with banter. Allowing your feelings to be hurt is definately something you will need to learn to control.

I am 25 years old and have been in transition for 2 years now. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this is what I wanted to do. Now I will get to your technical questions that have not been already answered for sure.

You may or may not have sensation depending on which of the possible surgeries you would go with. If you have a metoidioplasty, where they simply cut the ligament that holds the clitoris to the pubic bone then you would have full sensation and be able to climax but you would have a relatively small male genitalia. If you have a phalloplasty then you still have a 70% chance of full feeling and thus the ability to climax but it isn't a promise, but you will have a larger male genitalia.

As far as hormones go here is what generally happens; you will develop the normal body hair pattern for a male, your voice will drop like a male, your libido will likely go up, your clitoris will become larger and this more sensitive, you could experience vaginal dryness, you could have problems with aggression, your body fat and muscle structure change to be more like a males, your appetite may change, your sleep patterns may change, and you then become at risk for things like heart disease, cervical cancer, high blood pressure and anything else a male would be more prone to. Also you would be on Testosterone for the rest of your life, but it really isn't too bad, there are two options (that I am aware) and neither are that life altering as far as trying to work it into a busy schedule and deal with pain.

My suggestion would be to start seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist and working through how you feel. Information is Power and the more information you have the better off you will be. You might want to look at Hudson's FtM guide or The transitional Male, those are websites you can search for on the net that have pretty good information on them.

Good luck,

James

So pleased, someone with first hand experience is able to advise.

I found this which may interest you.

There seems to be laods there to interest most of us.

http://www.lauras-playground.com/ftm_links.htm

hey, you asked if i was scared about the surgeries, of course i am ive never had surgery before but its no reason to panic, chances are you are going to have a very experienced surgeon, i know i am in montreal canada, although i live in bc, anywho its natural to be scared, my fiance told me so shes had a few sugeries in her life i mean her gall bladder, ear tubes, eye surgery etc etc, she used to it so shes helping me to cope, dont worry you will be fine, just believe in yoruself and ull be fine okttfn dude

Kayla <3

Surgery can be a pretty intimidating prospect. I know that for me it's way too much to think about right now. You might try starting small. Instead of imagining yourself getting surgery, think about the transition that comes before - learning to live as a man, living full-time as a man, going through male puberty, etc. In the meantime, you can look around the Internet for FTM surgery info, but look at it from an objective standpoint rather than what applies to you. If you decide to transition, focus on accomplishing those earlier steps before you ever arrange for surgery - that will give you a large margin of time in case you change your mind.

It may be that you don't ever want to get bottom surgery. A lot of guys decide to forgo that part either because the procedure can be so awkward, because they can't afford the surgery, or because they're happy with their hormone-altered female genitalia.

As for me, I've known that I was different from most girls from a pretty young age, but it didn't occur to me until I was about sixteen that I might be transgendered. When I looked back on my life and saw the dysphoria that had woven its way into various points, though, it became pretty clear to me that I was much more like a guy than I was most of the girls I had met. I dress like a guy, talk like a guy, prefer to spend time with guys; I've even had to restrain myself on more than one occasion to keep from referring to myself as a guy. Despite all that, though, I'm still not sure how far I want to go. I really can't see myself not transitioning at this point - living as a female just gives me way too much grief - but at the same time, it's a huge chasm to cross and I get pretty nervous thinking about it.

So yeah. You don't have to grow up with strong feelings of being the other sex to be transgendered. You don't have to want to go the whole hog and get reassignment surgery to be transgendered. You don't have to be into sports, weight lifting, or people of the same sex to be transgendered. If you're uncomfortable in your own body, and feel more comfortable in a body of the other sex, you definitely qualify.

I might suggest a test: Get some advice on how to present as a male, and try it out in the mirror sometime. Bind your breasts, do your hair, get the right clothes, and put it all together. If that feels right to you, you should seriously consider making the transition - but don't make a definite decision right away. Take things one step at a time and decide what changes will work best for you.

Don't worry about surgery. I've been taking Testosterone for two years and am only now beginning to thing about "top surgery." I don't plan to ever have genital surgery.

Being a guy is not about having a male genitalia.

Being trans is about being comfortable with yourself and all aspects of your personality. I, personally, have become more feminine since I transitioned. Find a trans-friendly therapist in your area. http://www.drbecky.com/therapists.html This site has a pretty decent list to look through.