Lyric wrote:The situation you describe fits me, as well and I think it fits the majority of male-born cross-gendered persons. I have given this matter a great deal of thought and I really believe that "bigendered" should be as recognized a category as "transsexual". Unfortunately, this is not the case. In recent years, we have seen a wonderful surge of recognition of transsexuality and a greater understanding of persons who were born male and feel they are female. Understanding of persons born male, but who feel
both male and female has quite a ways to go. Even the well supported transsexual community seems to express a callousness to the bigendered similar to the way much of the populus at larges treats transsexuals. We are branded with negative-image terms like "fetishist", "transvestite" (a term created by doctors to describe a "disease"), and others. Worst of all, many of us even have disdain for what we are ourselves.
A bigenderist is simply a person who, for whatever reason, feels an identity to some degree with both genders. We express this in a variety of ways. Bigenderism is as valid a condition as transsexualism is or homosexuality. We're the next step in conquering the gender frontier. Until we can be comfortable with who we are ourselves, we can never ask others to do so. We're special. We have a unique outlook. We have advantages and disadvantages. Accept. Enjoy. Inform.
--Lyric
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-06V_c4Q9YrRaJN3oQXVCRA--?cq=1
There are so many points I'd like to talk about, but your post motivated me to respond. First, the term Androgynous should help you define who you are. Since learning about the word, I have come to identify with it frequently. What it means is that we are comfortable relating to and living as either gender, and sometimes no gender. You are correct in that we are percieved as outcasts by all other groups. Considering the commitment and social perspective of all the other groups, I an see why. It also seems that society has told us that "we will tolerate whatever gender role you choose, as long as you stick to only one". Which is totally incompatible with an androgynous person. You are also correct in that we are special. Who better to understand the opposite gender, than someone who lives as both. I invite you to take a look at my youtube vids of how I have incorporated this into my everyday life. I am into the fetish scene, with latex crossdressing, for many reasons. One of which is that material's ability to temporarily and completely transform me into whoever I need to be. Life's not perfect though. There are many days I yearn to go to work as a female, but I know the havoc I would cause if I did. So, I flirt with disaster in a surefooted and confident way by showing the guys pics of me and my wife (!) fully covered in rubber. They know I'm wild outside of work. my youtube channel is
http://www.youtube.com.user.JPRubber2 I think I have successfully negotiated the waters in a small town. I simply look at any given situation and decide whether pushing the envelope is worth the risks. If it is appropriate to show a male identity, then I do. But I also seek others who are flexible and accepting and especially I seek others who are participatory! Surround yourself with supportive people. It makes life a lot easier.
On a serious note, I have had this dream or fantasy, for many years now, of experiencing a different kind of surgery. A surgery which allows me to fully function as either gender, minus any body hair or facial hair. As I have always been mechanically inclined and educated in Aerospace Engineering, I have given much thought to the actual mechanics, biology and anatomy that would make this into a possibility. To have to ability to match my gender with my 'mood' would be just awesome. To add a twist to that theme, I could grant temporary control of my physical gender to another person, never knowing when I might start to change. There are many other situations of practical use for this surgery for me. Often, I am not feeling very masculine, and therefore I have a very difficult time pleasing my wife. I am aware of cialis and inflatable implants as well as strapons, but all three have limitations. It turns out, that such an androgynous surgery would allow me the flexibility to have a mostly female form but also a strong erection. And if the wife so desired to switch roles, in a matter of minutes, I could accomodate her desires as well. I don't know that such a surgery will ever surface in my lifetime, or how I would ever pay for it. But this would be the only way I would ever consider surgically modifying my body.
I took the gender orientation inventory to learn about the androgynus status. As part of that status, the attached explanation indicated that I would not be a good candidate for SRS because after the surgery, there would be a time when I would be male, but unable to function physically. Yet , SRS vids and pics are like porn to me. The new sensations, including the pain, must be intense and amazing. The possibilities of a different lifestyle must also be amazing.
I'd like to find others like me, to organize and befriend. Thanks for reading all this
Jon/Jennifer
But I digress. Lately I've been attracted to males, but I think that might have something to do with the fact that I'm in a closet and I don't have support from my family on this issue. At this point in my life I'm looking for a female who understands my feelings and can love me. I wouldnot call myself bi, or straight, or male, or femminine, but the term genderfluid seems to fit. I'm glad I can call myself something now. 